It’s a really crappy feeling when you have no motivation to do anything. Maybe you’re overworked, going through a difficult time, are feeling overwhelmed or just have a tendency to be lazy. Either way, at some point a lack of motivation can become a big problem and it can leave you feeling depressed and unfulfilled.

I wrote a post about being in a funk a few months ago and I guess this post has a similar goal, but it’s more around making the most of your time and creating a better balance between all of your responsibilities. I thought with exam season fast approaching, it was fitting to talk about it now to get your priorities in order and help you feel more motivated.

Barriers to doing things.

So firstly, we look at what is stopping us from doing the things we need to. Is it that you are working too much? You’re spending too much time procrastinating? You’re spending a lot of time sleeping? etc. Once we have established this – start to think of ways you can break these barriers first, to see if you can do anything yourself before going further. If you’re unsure, here are a couple of tips to help break some barriers before we get stuck in to the proper work. Remember though, do not wait till you feel better to do something – chances are, you ain’t going to feel better – so this starts now.

• Use people around you to help/motivate you.

Can someone phone you in the morning to help you get out of bed? Can you meet a friend to get somewhere? Or tell a family member that you’ve planned something and ask them to check that you have done it later. I literally hate the gym and for me lately – I have started going with a friend so 1. I know I have to do it as I can’t disappoint her and 2. I get to see her. It’s all about improving your motivation by improving associations with what you are doing.

• Start small and manageable.

Do things that are within your reach first before building up to doing bigger things. Tasks should stretch you, but not be totally out of reach.

• 5 minute rule.

This is one of my personal favourites as I think it is so effective! When you’re doing something – promise yourself that if you’re doing it and after 5 minutes you still don’t feel in to it – you can stop. Literally nearly every time, by 5 minutes you’ll have got stuck in to the task so it will be easier to keep going.

• Make a list!

For me, lists are life. They help me keep organised and ensure I don’t forget anything because everything that needs to be done is there. But the main thing – give yourself the satisfaction of ticking that thing off your list!

• Reward yourself after tasks…

This works well for revision – once you’ve done a certain task, reward yourself with watching a tv programme or having 20 minutes to yourself etc. Knowing you will do something for yourself after doing the current task will give you more motivation to complete it!

• Set a period of time to do things.

Again a great one for revising or even managing your workload! Tell yourself – for the next 30 minutes I am going to focus on this and after that I will evaluate where I’m at and do something else. Also, mix it up! Don’t do one thing for 3 hours (this could be in terms of revising or even things like housework), do something, then another task, then back to the first task etc.)

Okay so once you have done the above to help you a little, think about how your week looks. So what I want you to think of is – how much of what you do is necessary, routine and pleasurable?

Routine, necessary and pleasurable activities.

So the reason I asked the above is because what we realise is sometimes we spend so much time doing things that are routine/necessary such as work/school runs/revision etc. we often neglect the latter.

It is incredibly important to keep a balance between these three types of activities because if we are constantly just working and coming home through the week and don’t leave room for things we enjoy – we can end up becoming withdrawn and demotivated. Same with anyone who’s revising. If you are constantly trying to revise and do nothing else, chances are you’ll end up not taking anything in or having motivation to continue.

Routine activities:
Routine activities are things we do daily to make our lives more comfortable i.e. housework, going to the gym, school runs etc.

Necessary activities:
Activities which are essential so we have to do – the longer we leave these, usually the worse the consequences. For example, paying bills, going to work, applying for jobs etc.

Pleasurable activities:
These are activities which make you feel connected to others or yourself, improving your quality of life such as seeing friends, any hobbies you may have, sports etc. In your pleasurable activities maybe even add things you wish to do but haven’t got round to yet. So for example, starting a new hobby or interest etc.

Build a hierarchy.

Once you’ve written your list, make a hierarchy of how difficult they are to achieve (bearing in mind if you’re really demotivated – some of this stuff will be harder to do than others). Put the easiest activities at the bottom and slowly work your way up to what may be harder.

I have included a template here which will make the above make more sense!

Once you’ve done this, plan the next week out. But you have to include some routine, some necessary and some pleasurable activities. I usually have routine and necessary stuff in every day but have at least 3 pleasurable activities in a week – so that’s usually seeing friends and doing things I enjoy. Start with the things that are easier to do from each type of activity then gradually as weeks go in, put in the activities you find harder to do. Ensure your week is structured yet full, but only to what you find capable to do without overdoing it.

If you’re revising – have something pleasurable in every day! Even if it’s something small like watching your fave show on Netflix after 2 hours of work.

Ensure you maintain a balance of what’s necessary, routine and pleasurable because it ensures you are getting stuff done which makes you feel like you’ve accomplished stuff, as well as doing the things you always do, but also doing things which help your personal needs such as socialising/doing things you enjoy.

If you start this and find it hard, slow down – just do what you can. Chances are if you have felt demotivated for a while, it’s going to take time to build up good habits. A little like pushing a broken down car – it takes super strength but eventually – it gets started.

I realised with myself, I at one point was doing too many pleasurable activities in my week, and again – it got overwhelming because I was never home and neglecting things I needed to do. So this approach is all about doing things in moderation.

For example, my past week is a real good example of how I used this approach to balance my responsibilities and feel fulfilled by Sunday. I had to go to work everyday obviously, and had odd jobs like cleaning my room, doing the food shop etc. These were all routine. Following this, I had to pay my makeup artist and videographer deposits (yes, they’re booked!), work out my monthly budget (check this post to see what this is about!), and go to the gym – these were necessary. And then I saw my friend Abi, went to Nadeems and went to the gym with my friend Kiran and out to eat that night too, these were pleasurable.

I scheduled them all in across the week so I did my necessary stuff that I knew i’d put off if I had to do them then and there, but also made some necessary stuff fun by doing it with my friend (the gym). And just like that, it is now Sunday and I feel like I’ve had a good week.

Then just continue with it, continue to challenge yourself and add more and more activities which help you feel good about yourself to ensure you’re making the most of your time. Next week I have set aside some time to start journaling. This is something I wanted to try which was new and it would be classed as a pleasurable activity as it’s for me.

I hope this all makes sense and if you want some further information on it, just type behavioural activation in to google and you’ll get a tonne of stuff on it – it’s a technique we use often to help people who are demotivated and it’s so simple, yet can work wonders as we really don’t realise how much we can neglect things when feeling stressed/low.

I hope you feel a little motivated after reading this and start to make small changes to help yourself build up better habits.

Hoping you all have a fulfilling week ahead!

Tayyeba xx